Welcome to Sum up Sunday. A weekly update of my thoughts, feelings and experiences for the past week. Enjoy.
"An important year. One to look back on with a feeling of pride. This year I will continue to achieve, I will continue to work hard and smash goals. But most importantly, I will smile! xxx"
I had completely forgotten, but that's the message I wrote to myself at the beginning of the year, at the front of my Moleskine.
I had no idea what this year would bring but I started off with good intentions and despite the things that happened outside of my control, I'm pretty happy with where I've ended up. Getting married and starting my own business amongst all the madness are worth a mention.
Something doesn't feel quite right when talking about how well my year has gone, for obvious reasons... It's been a bloody nightmare, hasn't it?
When we first went into lockdown back in March, I think it would be fair to say that none of us knew what was in store for us and yet, here we are, nine months later and we still can't hang out with loved ones or hug anyone.
I don't think I remember a time where I was this in touch with how I'm feeling. In my younger years, I was mostly happy and didn't really experience anything too traumatic. In my late teens, early twenty's, I had my first taste of what depression was. Fortunately, the dark clouds didn't stick around for too long, however, it did highlight to me that life wasn't as smooth sailing as I initially thought.
I'd say before this year that I knew myself pretty well. I regularly meditate and spend lots of time writing stuff down and reflecting on how I feel.
Having my freedom limited by these Covid restrictions, I have spent more time on my own and as a result, I've had more time to look inwards and get a better understanding of what goes on in my head
What I've learned is I NEED my structures and routines in order to perform at a level I'm happy with. The systems I have in place must be followed strictly or I drop off the pace and any momentum I've built up over time spirals out of control and eventually vanishes.
This sounds super dramatic, but I've become so sensitive to it and start to get frustrated if I haven't got my ducks lined up.
I don't have an end goal as such, I just fear that if I'm not working towards something and putting in effort each day, I will fall back into how I was before and just coast through life.
This year has also highlighted to me how my thoughts and emotions come to me in waves. Sometimes they're big, sometimes they're small, sometimes they're often and sometimes not at all. What I'm getting better at is letting them come and go with ease and spend less time resisting them.
I'm looking forward to the new year and I'm hoping that we can all have nice times together again in the not too distant future. I'm looking forward to the day we can hug people, dance together and cut people's hair without wearing a riot shield.
What do you want to get out of the year ahead?
This week's recommendations
Once again, Ardy's Hour has been updated. I think for the next few weeks at least I'm going to keep scrolling back through old playlists and picking my favorites. Please give the playlist a follow so you can be kept up to date automatically.
Instagram page I've been enjoying - @wearecommongrounds
Friends of mine who produce the best coffee in Chichester.
Film to watch - Disney and Pixar's Soul
Hit the link to watch the trailer. This might just be my favorite film of the year.
I hope you're all ok and had a lovely Christmas.
I hope your 2021 is way better than 2020.
If this year hasn't gone the way you'd hoped or you feel like you've underachieved, please don't worry. Just know that making it to the end of the year is an achievement in itself. For many of us, this year has been one of the most challenging years that we will ever face, so kudos to you and give yourself a pat on the back.
It looks like we have a fair way until we're back to more familiar times, but believe that life won't be like this forever.
Take some time to check in on your loved ones, spare a thought for the ones who are no longer here and take some time each day to look after yourself.
Ardy's will be closed until further notice. Please sit tight and grow those beautiful locks, hopefully, it won't be too long.
Just because I'm not cutting, doesn't mean I'm not here to listen. send me a message if you need anything. I'll help in any way I can.
Lots of love, Ardy x
P.S. Please feel free to forward this message to anyone who you think may need to see it.